Sunday, August 06, 2006

Draupadi-an intrigue

I have been thinking about some topics to dwell on and research. I have particularly found the character of Draupadi from Mahabharata, quite intriguing. Long time back, while in college, my room-mate and best friend, was reading a book on Draupadi called Jagyaseni by Pratibha Roy. It was in Oriya, so I could not have the good fortune of reading it, but my friend was sweet enough to take me through it while reading it herself. And I was immensely amazed and involved in that book. I tried finding an English or Hindi version of the same but I could not. I don’t know if its translations exist at all.
Even after that instance, I have come across the story of Draupadi in bits and pieces, here and there. There have been short stories and instances from Mahabharata. What I recall of the Mahabharata we saw on TV, I think the story was not perfect! Besides, I think the story shown on TV was quite straight and in white and black. It never attempted to dwell on each of the enigmatic characters of Mahabharata, and even Ramayana, for that matter. And I truly believe that the Mahabharata which we normally come across, is a little exaggerated. You definitely don’t believe that Bhishma would have slept on a bed of arrows for days and that too, pointed side up!!! I remember, I read in Times of India perhaps, that it is written in Mahabharata that Bhishma slept on a bed of arrows. Now this could also be interpreted as a bed of arrows, wherein the arrows are side-ways and not the pointed side up! But we like to believe what we like to believe.

Friday, August 04, 2006


I read somewhere that “in life, when you start feeling jealous about a friend and the way she feels about her job, well, dude, it is time for you to move on!”
Of late, I have been thinking about what would I really want to do with my life! Should I make it just a money-spinning ride? Or go beyond it? I don’t know. I mean I try to think about this objectively. As much as possible. I have quit my job. You can call it a little whimsical or impulsive decision! In fact, it does not sound for real at all! I HAVE QUIT MY JOB! Man!!!What am I going to do? (For starters, I do not have an Offer letter in hand). How am I going to find another job? And one more problem I am facing is that, what kind of job would I want to do? I don’t know if I am asking this question to myself, a little too late. But some of us live our entire lives, even thinking about this aspect.
Life never fails to intrigue me. I did not get it out of choice. I got it by chance. What am I supposed to do with it? Nobody told me! Well, people tried telling me, but I always thought otherwise. My family thinks I just keep on hopping from one thing to another just for the heck of it. But I think I pity myself for living about 25 years of my life, and not knowing what am I going to do for the rest of it.
Right now I am looking for jobs which are similar to the one which I have done for the last one year, just because it is the most logical thing to do. Although I already overlooked logic and sense (in the accepted form) while quitting.
My boss thinks I am not only foolish but also stupid. I don’t want to even think about that aspect. I think I am reasonably intelligent. I think logically. So I am fine in that department. The problem is I ask too much question from life. People think I am crazy to give up such a dream job and go back to starting from the scratch. However, I think that if I know where I am going and what I want to achieve, then I would not mind starting it from scratch. The problem is I don’t know.
Let me see, what my options are. I am really really keen on is a short-term course in creative writing. I want to tell stories but I don’t have any right now. In India, there is hardly any decent institute conducting any such course, which is worth my time and energy. Besides, I also love reading. I have gathered from somewhere that if you love reading then publishing houses are the place for you, where they receive a lot of manuscripts. You have to go through them and identify the money-spinners. I would love to WRITE. I know I am telling this nth time but then that is the only truth of my life. I dream of a place where I am surrounded by all the books I want to read and I am being paid to read them. How cool!!!